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← Find Your Purpose

Module 3: The Discovery

Enough theory. Three exercises, about an hour each, designed to surface what actually drives you: the childhood self, a strengths inventory, and a values ranking. Do them in order. Don't rush.

3
Discovery exercises in this module
1
Hour per exercise — give it a full evening
10
Values to force-rank, no ties
Module 3: The Discovery illustration

The childhood self

Before anyone told you what to be, what did you love? The game you played for hours without being asked. The thing you'd read about for fun. The role you always took when playing pretend. That kid knew something — before the boxes arrived, before "practical" entered the vocabulary.

This isn't nostalgia; it's archaeology. The childhood self is evidence from before the conditioning — a record of what lit you up when nobody was grading you. A kid who spent hours building elaborate worlds out of blocks wasn't "wasting time"; she was showing you she needs to make things. A kid who organized every neighborhood game wasn't bossy; he was showing you he needs to lead.

Here's the exercise: write a full page about what ten-year-old you loved doing. Not a list — a page, with details. What were you doing on a perfect Saturday? What could you not stop talking about? Then circle the verbs: building, helping, performing, organizing, exploring, fixing, teaching. Verbs survive; job titles don't. The verbs are the thread — follow them forward to today and ask where they went.

Common objection: "I just played video games." Fine — what about the games? The competition? The worlds? The teamwork? The mastery? Dig one layer deeper than the activity and you'll find the verb. There's always a verb.

Build brief

What did ten-year-old you love doing — and is there a version of it someone would pay for today?

The strengths inventory

Not "what are you good at?" — "what are you good at that energizes you?" The distinction matters enormously, because plenty of people are skilled at things that drain them. The accountant who's brilliant with spreadsheets and dead inside by 3pm. The manager who's great at diffusing conflict and goes home hollow. Skill without energy is a trap, not a purpose.

Draw two columns. Left: skilled + energized — things you're good at that leave you buzzing. Right: skilled + drained — things you're good at that leave you empty. Be ruthless about which column each skill belongs in; your ego will try to put everything on the left. Your purpose lives in the left column. The right column is just competence — useful, billable, and irrelevant to your why.

Stuck? Ask three people who've worked with you: "When have you seen me most alive doing work?" Others can see your energy better than you can — you're too close to your own face to read it. Energy is data. The moments people name, unprompted, are pointing at something real.

Now look at the left column next to your childhood verbs from lesson 1. Overlap is the signal getting louder. If "teaching" shows up in both — at ten and at thirty — that's not a coincidence, that's a thread. Pull it.

Build brief

Make your two columns: skilled + energized vs skilled + drained. List at least 5 in each. What's in the left column that also showed up in your childhood verbs?

The values ranking

Values are the handful of principles you'd refuse to trade away — and most people have never actually ranked theirs. Here's the exercise. Ten values: freedom, security, creativity, service, mastery, recognition, family, adventure, honesty, impact. Rank them 1 to 10. Forced order. No ties.

The no-ties rule is the whole point. Anyone can say "all of these matter." Forced ranking reveals what you'd actually refuse to trade — because life will make you trade. Would you give up #3 to protect #1? If yes, the ranking is honest. If you can't decide, you haven't thought hard enough yet. Comfortable rankings are useless rankings.

Your top three are your compass. Every big decision — job offers, moves, commitments — gets checked against them. A role that pays double but violates #1 isn't an opportunity; it's a box with better lighting. Write your top three on something you'll see daily. When a decision feels hard, it's usually because two top values are in conflict — naming that conflict is half the resolution.

Now put it together: childhood verbs + energizing strengths + top three values. Read all three lists side by side. The overlap — the thing that appears in two or three places — is your purpose taking shape. Write it as a draft statement using the template from Module 0. Rough is fine. True beats polished.

Build brief

Do the values ranking now: list all 10 values, force-rank them 1–10 with no ties. Write your top 3 and one sentence each on why they beat the rest.

Tom is great at spreadsheets but dreads them. He's decent at mentoring interns and leaves those conversations buzzing. Which belongs in his purpose discovery?

Your turn: The three-list synthesis: (1) your childhood verbs, (2) your skilled + energized list, (3) your top 3 values. Write what appears in more than one list — then draft your purpose statement from the overlap.

Your next 24 hours

Tonight: ask three people 'when have you seen me most alive doing work?' Text them now so the answers are waiting tomorrow. Write each answer down verbatim.

Steal this template

THE DISCOVERY SYNTHESIS

Childhood verbs: ___

Skilled + energized: ___

Top 3 values: 1. ___ 2. ___ 3. ___

What appears in more than one list: ___

My purpose draft: ___

Cheat sheet

  • The childhood self: circle the verbs, not the activities — verbs survive.
  • Ask: what are you good at that energizes you? Energy is data.
  • Skilled + drained is competence, not purpose. Don't build on it.
  • Values ranking: 10 values, forced order, no ties — comfortable rankings are useless.
  • Your top 3 values are your compass for every big decision.
  • Overlap across all three lists is your purpose taking shape.