Module 5: Rules and moderation

Writing rules people actually follow

Five rules, plain language, positive framing. Example set: (1) Be kind — critique ideas, never people. (2) No spam or self-promotion without permission — share value first. (3) What's shared here stays here — respect privacy. (4) Search before asking — help us help you. (5) Assume good intent — ask before reacting. Notice: each rule is specific enough to enforce and short enough to remember.

Explain the why behind the strictest rule in one sentence — "we limit promotion because every spammy group dies, and we want this one to live" earns compliance that bare authority never does. Post the rules in #welcome, link them in the onboarding email, and reference them by number when enforcing ("hey, quick reminder of rule 2").

Revisit rules annually with member input. Rules the community helped shape get followed; rules handed down get resented. A 10-minute annual "do these still work?" thread builds ownership and surfaces outdated rules before they cause friction.

Translate the rules for edge cases as they arise: "does rule 2 cover job postings?" Answer once, publicly, and add the clarification to the rules doc. A living rules document with ten answered edge cases is worth more than a perfect initial draft — it shows members the rules are thoughtful and current, not carved in stone and forgotten.

Handling conflict and difficult members

Enforcement ladder: private friendly nudge → public reminder (no names) → private formal warning → temporary mute → removal. Skip levels only for egregious violations (harassment, hate speech, scams — remove immediately, no ladder). Document every step with dates; memory is unreliable and disputes happen.

The private message template: "Hey [name], I wanted to chat about [specific behavior]. Our rule 2 asks members to [rule]. I know you didn't mean harm — could you [specific fix]? Appreciate you." Private, specific, assumes good intent, requests a concrete change. Most issues end here.

For public conflicts between members: de-escalate in the thread ("let's keep this constructive — taking the detailed debate to DMs"), then follow up with each person privately. Never take sides publicly, never litigate who's right in front of an audience. The community watches how you handle conflict more closely than the conflict itself — fairness under pressure is leadership's loudest signal.

Building a moderator team

You can't moderate alone past ~200 active members. Recruit from your most helpful, level-headed regulars — the people already answering questions and welcoming newcomers. Ask privately: "You'd make a great mod — interested?" Never appoint someone who campaigned for power; the best mods are drafted, not self-nominated.

Check in with mods privately every month: how's the workload, any difficult situations, anything they need from you? Mods absorb the community's friction so you don't have to — that emotional labor compounds silently. A five-minute "how are you holding up?" retains a great mod longer than any perk ever will.